


Left Behind

by Charlie9646



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark, Dubious Consent, During the War, F/M, Falling In Love, Forced Marriage, Hermione is of age, Mildly Dubious Consent, Pregnancy, Sex, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:55:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23762671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646
Summary: She was left behind, Dobby somehow in the battle had lost ahold of her. Now the Malfoy family was staring down at Hermione like a pack of wolves and she was the rabbit.What was their plan to do to her? Hermione knew no one would come to save her, or at least that is what she believed in that instant.
Relationships: Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Severus Snape/Hermione Granger
Comments: 28
Kudos: 239
Collections: Darkness Reigns: A World Cast in Shadow





	Left Behind

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Darkness_Reigns_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Darkness_Reigns_2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>   
> Thank you LumosLyra for Betaing this.  
> 
> 
> Hermione gets left behind in Malfoy manor, Severus for whatever reason saves her. They are both desperate to stop Voldemort, but how does Hermione stuck in Hogwarts, isolated in Severus’ rooms can she change the outcome of things?

  
“Pain changes people. Some become rude and some become silent.”

_Five, four, three, two, one_. Hermione counted in her head trying to forget where she was and who she was with. 

The sound of his snarling voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Ms. Granger! Granger! Hermione Jean Granger!” Severus Snape bellowed as he grabbed her face with his large pale hand, forcing her to look at him. His touch sent fearful shivers down her spine and Hermione tried to pull away from him, but his grip held firm. This was not the professor that she had once known - this man was a monster, the Death Eater, the murderer of Albus Dumbledore. 

”Will you listen to be for once in your stupid life, you little know it all? It's not just your life anymore - you have our child to think about!”

Hermione wrapped her own much smaller hand around his wrist, trying desperately to get him to release his hold on her face, ”Severus, please stop. You're hurting me!”

As if her skin was a hot iron burning his own, he withdrew his hand. ”You must keep your head down, for both our sakes. I know you don't like being my wife and if I could have stopped him from ordering us to marry, I would have. The Dark Lord does not ask; he does not tell - he orders, and if he orders you ,and you do not listen, and if you do not listen, your last breath will be snatched from your body with a wave of his wand."

Hermione sighed loudly and stared at the flames dancing in the fire, trying to ignore the looming headmaster -her husband. 

”I know you hate me. I know you wish nothing but ill will for me, but I swear to you, Hermione, I am the best option you have.” His black eyes were weary, as he sat down in his own armchair and poured himself a glass of firewhiskey, taking a long pull of it. Then harshly sat it down. ”Please, I beg you for both our sakes, do your best to keep your head down.” 

“I hate you, Severus Snape,” she snarled, pacing in front of the fire. Her heels landed on the floor harshly with each step. “I hate being your wife. I hate the very sight of you. I hate every single time you touch me.” Her chest heaved with heavy breaths and tears gathered at the corners of her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her stomach. “I hate that it’s your baby that grows inside of me.”

Hermione bit down on her bottom lip, eyes screwed tightly shut to stem the flow of angry tears. “I wish they would have killed me. _Anything_ would be better than being your wife.”

“He could have given you to Rabastan Lestrange and I can assure he would have been far worse,” Severus said, a dark cruelty in his tone as he swirled the amber liquid around the glass in his hand. “You are far too powerful to be simply killed. Do you think I enjoy sleeping with an insufferable little know-it-all? A former student?” he spat, pulling a steadying breath into his lungs. “Keep your head down and you might see the end of this war.”

Every time Hermione stared at Severus, all she could see was the lifeless, crumpled body of Albus Dumbledore. “I hate you, Severus Snape, I will hate you all the days of my life.”

Severus sighed, steadying his voice to one of dull boredom. “The same to you, Hermione Jean Snape,” he said, intent on ending the conversation, “I will join you in bed once this grading is finished.” 

Trying not to think, Hermione stood slowly, hand resting on her slightly rounded belly. It was not the child’s fault that Severus was its father. It did not ask to be conceived anymore than she asked to be his wife.. Once Hermione was behind the heavy oak door of their shared bedroom, she stripped off the dress, leaving it crumpled on the floor. It was the type of dress Narcissa Malfoy would wear. 

The heaviness of the fabric, the snakes and flowers that we're embroidered into it. It made her feel like anyone but Hermione Granger, the Gryffindor, the Muggleborn. It was as if Snape wanted to pretend that she was someone else. As if she were merely a doll to show off to the world. Would he take her voice as well? Have her repeat simple sentences like the Muggle toys she once played with as a child?

Being the perfect, little Death Eater wife was a requirement - even if her blood status was not considered proper for such a position. She had to look the part, which meant awful, uncomfortable dresses like the one she discarded on the floor. She pulled the soft nightdress, with it’s silk ribbons and lace that Severus insisted she wear, over her head, the collar falling off her shoulders as she plaited her hair. Long ago, when Hermione was just a child, it would have made her feel like some sort of princess, but it was clear this garment’s only use was to remind her of her place, not to make her feel beautiful. 

Perhaps it would have been better to keep her mouth shut about Bellatrix’s snide comment on their wedding night, if only to let their marriage end. Unfortunately, if the man was right and her other options we're the likes of Lestrange, maybe Snape was the best choice she had. At least he seemed to see her as a person. To Rabastan and the others, Hermione was less than a dog.

Snape might be unkind, but she wasn't all that pleasant either. The first time she screamed at him, calling him all sorts of vile names, she’d expected him to strike her. He didn’t. Severus Snape looked just as broken as Hermione felt.

As she drew back the duvet on the bed, Hermione’s mind drifted to their wedding and the night that followed. 

*********************************

One moment they were fleeing Malfoy Manor together and the next Hermione found herself alone in the drawing room.. It was November, she thought it was. Time was hard to keep track of when they were on the run. Harry was safe, that's all that mattered. Why hadn't they killed her yet? Surely now was as a good of a time as any, wasn't it? 

”Well, well, well. It seems little Potter forgot something. Girls are always left behind, aren't they?” Bellatrix cackled. 

The way she laughed caused bile to rise in Hermione’s throat as she waited for the curse that never came. For whatever reason, stared at Draco, wondering why he had lied. Surely, the young heir had seen through her stinging hex but Hermione held on to a shred of hope that perhaps Malfoy wasn’t all bad. She hoped her captors would just get it over it - whatever that was. She’d resigned herself to her fate what seemed like ages ago. She had no wand and no way to defend herself from whatever they might do to her. 

It was the click of boots on the marble flooring that triggered her to look up. She wasn’t certain which sight was more horrifying - the reptilian form of the Dark Lord or the neutral expression written on her former Potions Master’s face. Voldemort was a monster but she, like all of the Order, had placed their trust in Professor Snape. It was possible she trusted him more than most. Her childhood notion of believing what someone said over what others said about them had proven foolish. Now though, she could barely look at him. 

It was as if he was the devil himself. 

”Well, look who we have here, one of Harry Potter’s friends,” the Dark Lord said, a sinister smile curving over his pale lips. Hermione knew by the way he looked that they were winning. He looked deranged like someone whose mind was chipping away bit by bit. It meant that their work was worth it. It meant that whatever happened to her would be worth it. 

”She’s too valuable to kill,” Snape remarked calmly, his dark gaze leveled on Hermione. ”Her mind might hold secrets and for a _mudblood_ ,” he sneered, “she’s adept enough at magic to be a nuisance.” Snape’s gaze broke from Hermione as he turned to the Dark Lord, “If all else fails, Potter will try and save her, and with the right pressures, she could be of use”

Bellatrix giggled in a way that made Hermione’s blood turn cold as she drug a jagged fingernail over her lips. ”Go find some other toy to play with Severus. This one is mine to break. I claimed it first.”

They were like wolves fighting over a scrap of meat; only Hermione was the meat. 

”Bella, let him have her,” Lucius muttered with a vague wave of his cane in Hermione’s direction. ”He’ll break into her mind… you’ll just break her.”

”Yes, Severus, as a gift for your loyalty you can have Harry Potter’s friend, ” Voldemort said, ”Marriage will be the best way to tie her to us.”

Hermione wanted to vomit. No longer in control of what was going to happen to her, she knew her life was no longer in her hands. Truthfully, she lost any control over her fate the moment the others escaped from Malfoy Manor without her. Hermione’s death at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange would last for days, especially if the witch channeled the anger etched into her features into whatever torture she intended to inflict. It still seemed to be a more favorable outcome than marriage to her former professor. 

***************************

Narcissa Malfoy snarled at Hermione as she helped her into the borrowed dress. ”Stupid little Mudblood. Are there even any brain cells in your skull?”

Hermione remained silent, teeth gnashing against her lower lip.. It wasn't worth speaking to the woman; it's not like she cared about what Hermione had to say. 

”Be nicer to her, Cissa,” Bellatrix cooed, “After all, she’s gotta fuck the greasy git.” Bellatrix giggled like some demented creature as Hermione threaded her arm through one of the sleeves. ”The bonding spell the Dark Lord is using will kill them both if they don't do _anything_ . Wouldn't that be great? Two birds with one stone.Well two _lovebirds_.”

Narcissa’s gaze snapped to her sister. ”Bellatrix! Do not speak ill of Snape. His position is far better than ours,” she chided. ”I doubt our Lord would kill him.”

”Well, I guess we'll just have to find out won't we, Mudblood?” Bellatrix laughed as she twirled a curl around her finger, ”Or Snape will just force himself on it. Wouldn't that be funny, Cissa? He did ask for her.”

Hermione felt the bile rise in her throat threatening to expel the meager contents of her stomach at the implications of Bellatrix’s taunting. Death. Death would be better than this. 

”The little mouse is going to be sick!” Bellatrix exclaimed, grabbing Hermione’s chin with a bruising grip. ”Poor little mouse. And you don't know what is going to happen. This is going to be fun! Let's go meet your soon to be husband!” Releasing her chin, Bellatrix grasped Hermione by the wrist and tugged her out of the room, a skip in the demented witch’s step.

If there were a God in Heaven, he would strike her down now. 

Why in Merlin’s name did Snape want her? He did his very best for years to make her miserable when she was his student.

With the wedding and the wedding night still to come, Hermione wondered what Snape’s plan was. What would he do? 

*************************

The answer to what would happen was nothing like what Hermione expected. 

Snape sat there in his quarters, drinking firewhiskey and reading a book. He paid her no mind, as if she wasn’t even there.

”Don’t we have to?” she asked, gesturing vaguely between them.

”Don’t we have to what, Ms. Granger?” he snapped. ”Spit it out. I have no desire to listen to you more than necessary!”

“Don’t we have to sleep together? With the bonding spell He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named used?” Hermione asked ”I read that some of the bonding spells, especially the really nasty ones, have a requirement that the couples sleep together or they both die.” 

  
  
  


”Not all of them, ” Severus said, closing his book. ”But, you do have a point. He's likely trying to test me and punish you. Shall we simply get this over in the bedroom? Or have you never done this before? There are potions to help things along. 

”No, I don't want to lose control. I would rather get this over with...with my mind clear.”

“You haven’t done this before, have you?” 

“I don’t believe that is any of your concern,” Hermione snapped. “We need to get this over with, and then we can forget about it!”

“Sex, Granger, whether with someone you like or not is something you never forget.” He whispered to her sending shivers down her spine. “Now I ask a third time, have you done this before?”

“No.”

Snape looked as green around the gills as Hermione felt. Muttering his breath about Dumbledore, she was unable to make out the rest.

Hermione stood next to the fireplace, still in her borrowed white wedding dress asSnape stalked over to her. When he pressed into her, her curls were brushed away to the other side and his lips pressed against the skin of her neck without any sense of intimacy. 

”Are sure that you want to do this, Ms. Granger?” he asked. ”It could be a normal, less archaic form of bonding.” 

She stood firm, stiff against where his body pressed against her. ”I’m not willing to take the chance. Let's just get this over with.”

”Bed will be more comfortable,” Severus drawled. ”Let’s just get this over with.”

***************************

Severus smelled like firewhiskey as his much larger body loomed above her.. Maybe Hermione should've taken that potion. Perhaps she should have let him give her an escape because she was horrified when her body responded to him and she cried out in pleasure with his touch..

She was not supposed to take pleasure in this.

But at soon as it was there, it was gone, gone like a reflection on a lake. As soon as you reach out to touch it, it vanishes. 

Severus came with a grunt, spilling himself within her. He rolled off of her quickly,as if the touch of her skin burned him, before harshly turning to face the stone wall. She knew it was impolite, but Hermione could not help but stare at his pale back with its crisscrossed and faded to white scars.

Neither spoke another word and neither slept. 

**************************

Two months later

Hogwarts used to be home, a gateway into the magical world. But, now it was as dark as the dungeons, as cold as the black lake, and as dangerous as a pit of vipers lying in wait.

Hermione knew Snape wanted her to keep her head down and her nose out of things, but she had never been one to sit idle. As a member of the Order, she had to do whatever she could. That was why she was sneaking around the Headmaster’s office, though to her, it would never be Snape’s even with Dumbledore long buried in his grave.

It looked so different without all of the former Headmaster’s trinkets. Even with his sleeping portrait. Hermione hoped his things were packed up, not destroyed. 

Why was she even here? What was she hoping to find? 

Something, _anything_ , to help the order. To help Harry and Ron. To make sure the Carrows didn't get to torture another little first-year who was in a wrong place at the wrong time. Bile rose in her at the thought of such things happening to innocent children. Severus Snape needed to do a better job at playing Headmaster. While he had seemingly fallen asleep at the wheel for whatever reason, the psychopaths we're being allowed to do whatever they pleased. 

Hermione thumbed through the papers that sat in piles on the oak desk; the piece of furniture had likely been in this office for at least one hundred years. Her efforts led to nothing of importance. Just assignments, detention slips, and scribbles on parchment she could barely comprehend. 

She heard it then. The Gargoyle moving aside. 

_Fuck._ _He’s back._

Severus had told her at breakfast he was going for a walk around the lake and she knew that no matter how long his legs were, Severus shouldn't have returned so quickly.

He must have lied to her, hoping to catch her in the act as she snooped through his things. There was nowhere to hide, no way to run. She was backed against a wall. 

_Bloody hell, the desk!_ She could try to hide under the desk. Hermione dropped to her knees, her long, heavy, black wool dress brushing against the cold floor. Thankfully, the desk was large enough she could sit with her back against one side and have her knees bent up. 

If he caught her, Severus wouldn't hurt her, would he? Severus wasn't kind to her, but he wasn't nice to anyone. She was carrying his child, but it didn’t matter; what would happen was going to happen, and there was nothing she could do about it. 

Severus’s heavy boots hit the wooden floor as the door to the office flew open. “I need to talk to you, Albus.” 

_Wait, the portrait?_ That was an interesting development. Certainly, Albus wouldn't speak to the man who killed him, would he? 

”Yes, Severus?” 

Hermione had to shove her fist into her mouth, biting down on the back of her hand sharply at the sound of the former Headmaster's voice. 

”I had to marry Hermione Granger for reasons I do not wish to elaborate upon,” he drawled. ”But I need to keep her safe, Albus. She's pregnant and I can't do this anymore. Beyond that, she’s been snooping around. Hermione is going to figure things out. She's insufferable at best, but she's not stupid.”

Hermione thought, _bloody hell from Snape that might as well be a compliment._ He was not one to say anything without cause and conviction.

”Severus, one person does not matter more than all the rest. We will continue as we planned,” the Headmaster said softly, ”We need to protect the boy Ms. Granger would tell us that if she knew what we know.”

Hermione wanted to scream.How dare he put words in her mouth, as if he knew her thoughts! She practically could smell the manipulation from where she was tucked beneath the desk. 

”It is one thing to ask me to forfeit my own life, Albus. It is one thing to ask me to accept that harm may come to an eighteen year old who chose to fight against the Dark Lord,” Severus snarled, the crackle of his angle snapping over each syllable. “It’s another thing entirely for me to sacrifice an unborn child, _my_ unborn child. I refuse, Albus.”

_What in Merlin’s name was going on?_ The bit of viewing Albus Dumbledore as a hero, as some white knight burned up with him wanting to sacrifice her child, their child if they were nothing but a blip in the story, a thread in the tapestry of time. That may be true, but not to its parents. Not to its mother. Hermione could take been sent on a wild goose chase; she could take fighting for something; she could just barely tolerate losing her parents. Hermione was even able to bear being left behind and seemingly forgotten, but asking her to give up this child, her child, their child. 

Hermione was bound to a man she held no love for by something she had no say in, but she would fight on, even if it meant realizing her hero wasn’t that much of a hero after all. Even if it meant realizing all she thought she knew about Severus Snape was wrong. The last part part felt like a stone in her throat.

Severus turned his gaze to where Hermione was hidden beneath the desk. “Come out, Hermione, I know exactly where you are and what you were doing.”

  
  


Hermione released a heavy breath and crawled out from under the desk. As she tried to pull herself up, she stumbled and Severus caught her in his arms, both of their hands coming to rest on her stomach.. 

”I’ve got you, you’re safe.” He spoke to her with reverence in his voice, like some sort of desperate prayer to a forgotten god. It made her uneasy.

”Let’s get you settled somewhere more comfortable.” Severus guided her to the plush couch with the nauseating floral pattern in the far corner of the room. Hermione recognized it from previous visits to the former Headmaster’s office and found it curious that Severus kept it.

As soon as she was seated, Severus jumped back from her as if he remembered they were not lovers. They were not even friends. Hermione and Severus were whatever it was that they were, something ambiguous and ill-formed, like pieces of a puzzle that were stored in the wrong box. They didn’t match. 

  
  


”Ms. Granger... Things must go on as planned,” Dumbledore said softly. ”What is meant to be, is meant to be.”

”It’s _Mrs. Snape_ , Headmaster, ” Hermione growled. She didn’t know where it came from, but something in the words felt right as they fell from her lips. 

”Our child is not kindling for this war. Our child is not Issac or the lamb to be slaughtered and you, Albus Dumbledore are not God. Did you make him kill you? Is that why your hand looked so horrible? Are you taking advantage of something that was already happening? Tell me, or I tell the Order all that I know. I deserve to know the truth.

Hermione breathed deeply, her eyes dark with fury as she continued to berate her former Headmaster. “You left Harry, Ron and I with no direction or understanding of where even to start! So, tell me, Headmaster, because I have already lost my faith in you.”

With a sigh, Albus began to speak and as the tale flowed from his painted lips, Hermione lost quite a bit of how she once viewed the world.

*****************************

Hermione sat in the chair staring at the carpet at her feet. How could Albus Dumbledore want Hermione to walk out of this office and pretend he was not asking Severus to sacrifice himself for the Order and their cause? Who wouldn't even recognise that he was on their side? Did he only see in shades of grey? What people could be used for? And how they could help make the world better for others, even if they would never see it?

Her husband, the father of her unborn child, was sentenced to die because he made a promise - when he happened to be mourning the loss of a dead friend. Hermione thought back to how distraught Harry had been after the death of Cedric, how unstable he was, and they weren't even that bloody close. 

Still, there was something that was missing. She knew they weren't telling her everything.

Severus sat in his chair, straight-backed and rigid. His muscles were like a bowstring just waiting to snap and the force with which Severus was grinding his teeth was sure to turn them to dust.

Hermione wanted to ask them what they were keeping from her, but she was stopped dead in her tracks by the look in Severus’s eyes. His eyes, black as a raven’s wing, begged her not to go further. 

“Severus,” Hermione whispered, his name like static between them as the tension in the room hung over them like a cloud. 

“Since you fools will not tell her I will! It might be my job to serve the current Headmaster, but if he’s a dunce, it is my right to go against them, ” Phineas Nigellus Black snapped from within his frame. ”Voldemort is going to kill Snape to gain control of the Elder Wand.That is why Severus had to be the one to kill Dumbledore.”

Hermione could not escape the feeling of bile rising in her throat as her mind screamed at her to flee, to run, to take Severus’ hand and drag him with her until they were both safe She understood why they were using him as a scapegoat, truly she did, but she was vehemently against it. Severus placed the waste bin under her as she proceeded to vomit the bit of lunch she had been able to eat.

Hermione didn’t exactly know why, and maybe it was her foolishness or her Gryffindor heart she promised herself she was going to do her best to change this. To make this different, not for herself, but Severus and their child. Hermione was a Gryffindor if there had ever been one, and letting one’s husband die pointlessly was not a Gryffindor thing to do, whether or not you loved him.

************************

Severus sat a cup of tea down on the coffee table in front of Hermione. ”You should drink this, Hermione.”

”Not thirsty,” Hermione muttered, pushing the cup aside. Months into her pregnancy, she struggled at times to eat much and sometimes, like now, even drink anything. She shoved the teacup aside and curled herself around a throw pillow. 

Severus sat down next to her. For once since their wedding, he gained the courage to touch her in a way that was not meant to assist her. It was almost gentle the way he brushed her wild curls out her face and then tied them back for her. 

”Hermione, please try to drink the tea,” he said to her softly, ”It’s been mixed with an anti-nausea potion. It will help and you really don’t look well.”

”Way to get straight to a woman’s heart, Severus. Tell her how horrible she looks,” Hermione groaned, ”A real charmer you are. Everything hurts, and I just want to sleep.”

”Is there anything I could do to help?” Severus asked, his tone quiet with concern.. ”I know how hard this whole situation is for you, and I just want you to feel as well as you possibly can.”

Hermione sat up, harshly pulling away from Severus. With a grimace, she reached for the mug and took a sip of the tea. ”Severus all I want from you is to fight. To truly fight. For me, for our child, and for yourself.” 

Her eyes fluttered closed, ”Don’t die for what you have lost, live for what you have, Severus Snape,” she said, placing his hand on her rounded belly. 

”Fight for us, Sev, because this is now your family. I’m not asking you to love me and as much as I hate to admit it, I need you. This baby, _our child,_ needs you.” 

She’d blame it on hormes if asked, but she couldn’t help the tears as they started to fall from her eyes. 

Severus’ arms threaded around her small frame as he pulled her against his chest. ”Hermione, I promise you that I will fight for this. For us. For _our family_. I swear it,” he whispered into her curls, ”You are a treasure, Hermione Snape, a treasure that I will never deserve.” 

Severus kissed her curls and desperately hoped that somehow he could keep that promise. 

Hermione hoped there was truth in his words, but something told her that Lily Potter had a strong claim over this man’s soul. 

Would Severus choose a memory or a real living breathing family? 

She could only hope. 

***************************

When she was not looking, “Granger and Snape” had become “Hermione and Severus,” two people who cared a great deal for each other. She barely could comprehend how she and Severus ended up growing closer, but she was grateful for it. Maybe it was Stockholm syndrome; perhaps it was the fact he wasn't a monster. Or it might just be that it was the knowledge that Severus was one of the few people she could trust. 

Like her husband, Hermione had to toe the line. It was imperative that the Death Eaters believed she was under his control and that he remained a loyal servant of the Dark Lord. They had to assume Severus Snape had brought Hermione Granger to a knee - that she was now a subdued, quiet, meek, little mouse of a wife to a favored Death Eater wife. 

They sat together, curled up on a couch. His longer fingers rubbed the ache from her feet as she read, a fire warming the room and the baby kicking in her belly. Gone were the days of gentle, butterfly-like movements. Now, their child rolled, kicked and wiggled at every opportunity. 

They didn't ask to know the gender, though neither had spoken of exactly why they did not. Hermione had a feeling that it was due to the fact neither wanted to think about what was coming. One day soon, however, their child would leave the safety of her womb to enter the dangerous world in which they lived. 

Hermione ended up rereading the same paragraph at least three times, moaning as Severus’ fingers rubbed a rather sore spot.

”Anything interesting in that book?” Severus asked, ”Because you haven't turned the page in twenty minutes.”

”Possibly,” Hermione smiled at him, ”Though someone keeps distracting me.” 

”Should I stop?” He asked, pulling his hands away from her feet.

”No, don't stop,” she muttered, ”I was speaking of your sprout.” 

”Sprout?” Severus rolled his eyes and laughed, ”We aren't plants, Hermione.”

”What else could we call them? Surely not it, or they, or anything like that. And we don't really want to know their gender, now do we?”

”We could call them baby.”

”It just doesn't feel right though to say ‘baby this,’ ‘baby that,’ and all of that sort,” he said, ”Beyond that, it's weird to me because I had a pet hamster when I was growing up named baby.”

Severus’ eyebrows shot nearly into his hairline, ”You named a hamster ‘baby?’”

”I was six,” Hermione laughed, ”Didn't you have pets growing up?” 

”No, I did not,” he said abruptly before softly adding, ”Well, actually, once, I did for a short while.” 

Severus said nothing else about it, but the air of the room grew heavy as he pulled away from her. He turned to face the fire, eyes locked on the dancing flames.

”Hey, Sev, I’m sorry if I upset you,” Hermione brushed her fingers over her husband’s back. 

Instead of pulling away, Severus leaned into her touch. ”I know we aren't really even friends, lovers, or what have you. I know we are whatever this may be, and sometimes I foolishly wish it was more.”

She took a deep breath and then sighed, ”I know I am not the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, but I want to make this work, Severus. We have the baby to think about; _we_ aren't important anymore. They are... they are the most important thing. No matter what, we have to protect them, first and foremost.”

Severus turned Hermione, pulled her close and kissed her. 

For a second, she didn't know what to do, but then Hermione decided that maybe things had changed. Perhaps they could make this work and even have a real life together, if they could survive the war. She pulled away and rested her forehead against his. ”Maybe we could make this work and love will grow with time.”

”Rowan. We could call them Rowan,” Severus said, “It's gender-neutral and it's a family name on my mother’s side.”

”It’s beautiful, Severus,” Hermione said as the baby rolled and gave a strong kick to her ribs, ”I think someone agrees. Here, feel.” She took his hand and placed it on her belly. The baby gave another good solid kick. 

His black eyes shut and a small smile crept onto his face. 

Her husband looked like a man who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was like a man who had been made of stone, but it seemed he had tiny cracks, like a dam that finally seemed to be breaking. 

”Thank you for this, Hermione.” Severus said softly, leaning over to whisper softly against the swell of her stomach, “I love you Rowan and I so desperately want to try to love mother too.”

Hermione swore there was one tear on Severus’s pale cheek when he sat up. 

He stood and rushed from the room, as though he were being chased by a monster. Hermione didn't go after him - kiss or not - because she, too, feared all that was to come. 

She had somehow fallen in love with Severus Snape, and that was a sobering thought. 

Rowan gave another kick, as if to state their own opinion. 

*************************

Hermione couldn't believe the sight before her eyes. 

The Carrows, together, were torturing a child, because she cried that Death Eaters murdered a friend of hers. The little Ravenclaw with cornflower blue eyes, pink cheeks, and hair the colour of corn silk was just a second year. Hermione’s magic like flames under her skin as it boiled just below the surface.. 

”Stop” Hermione screamed, ”You will stop right now! She's just a child.”

”Look, brother, ” Alecto Carrow chuckled, ”Snape’s little mouse has teeth, isn't that something? The only reason to keep around a mudblood is how good of bitch they are. Look at her, pregnant after her wedding night when those above her struggle. And then, she goes around thinking she can tell us what to do.”  
  
Alecto shook her head, “Mouse just because Snape has a thing for Mudblood whores doesn't mean you have any say in what we do. I have crups that are smarter than you.”

”Sister, forget the blood traitor, ” Amycus grinned, idly waving a hand in the Ravenclaw’s direction. ”Let’s teach the mudblood a lesson.”

”But Snape said...”

”What the Headmaster doesn't know wont hurt him. We can just claim that she fell down a flight of stairs or something. With that big belly, it’s not like she can see her feet.” 

If the Snatchers reminded Hermione of hyenas, tearing apart any scrap they could get, bit by bit, these two reminded her of a pack of feral dogs. They wanted to take the easiest way to get what they desired and in that moment, it was her death. 

The sound of boots landed heavily on the stone floor, pounding with the same intensity as Hermione’s heart. At least the little girl was safe, having fled the scene after the Carrows turned their attention elsewhere. Hermione knew Neville would help her, Ginny would fight to protect her, and Luna would try to cheer her up. The first two had stopped speaking to Hermione; she would bet anything they saw her as a traitor but Luna hadn’t. The odd Ravenclaw told Hermione that everything had a reason, even if it didn't seem to at the time.

”Alecto and Amycus, surely you have more important things to do than threaten my wife?” Severus’ drawl was sharp. ”The Dark Lord has made it quite clear thatHermione is off-limits. Go find someone who is actually doing something wrong.”

The twins eyed each other sharply, like some sort of mockery of Fred and George before they stalked off down the corridor. The Weasley twins brought only light into the world whereas the Carrows brought nothing but darkness. 

Once they were gone, Hermione could finally breathe. 

When she chanced a glance at Severus, her body tensed. His hair, slicked with fumes from the potions in his lab, hung over one of his eyes but she could see the crackle of range within the one still visible. 

As he cast a sound muffling charm, Hermione could almost feel his anger as the spell settled over them. 

”Why in Merlin’s name did you interact with them, Hermione?” Severus roared, ”How many times must you be told your position is precarious? How many times must I tell you most of _them_ want you dead?”

Severus pulled his fingers through his hair, shoving it violently out of his eyes. 

“The Death Eaters wanted me to teach you a lesson, Hermione, an experience they hoped you would never forget. They wanted me to prolong your suffering and then let them have a turn. But, instead of trying to protect yourself and our child from those who wish to do you harm, you bait them. Do you have a death wish?”

The Severus Snape before her now was a caricature of the man she had known form the past seven years. This was a man on the brink of madness, not the man she had grown to care for. 

”They were going to hurt a little girl and that is not something I can abide, Severus.” Hermione said, her hand rubbing soft circles over her rounded abdomen. “I want to survive as much as anyone but don’t you look at them and wonder if it could be our child one day? Our child who they curse and torture and who _wakes up screaming_ because they have a _monster_ for a professor?”

She took a deep breath but it did nothing to calm her. “I cannot stand by and do nothing.” 

His boots rapped against the floor as he closed the space between them and harshly held her chin between his fingers ”I am making sure it never happens to our child.” Severus snarled, ”They will pay for what they do, Hermione, but you must allow the ship to stay on course. I have ways to stop the worst of their actions, but I _must_ be the one to handle them.”

“His grip softened slightly, “Draco Malfoy is the only reason you are alive. Not everything is what it seems at Hogwarts; it would do you well to remember that.”

The thought of their child coming to harm drove her to fight in the moment, but it urged him to fight for a better tomorrow. It was as if they were night and day and Hermione couldn’t discern who was right and who was wrong. Perhaps they were both or neither. 

*******************************

They didn't speak for days, moving around each other like ships in the night, though Hermione was disgruntled and Severus despondent.They shared the same bed, sat next to each other at the table in the Great Hall, he continued to brew her potions, and she attempted to keep her head down.

Sometimes at meals, Hermione would catch a look in Minerva’s eye, something akin to pity. She wanted to tell the woman not to pity her—she was not married to a monster no matter what things he was required to do to ensure the war would end in their favor.

She sat on their bed, trying to brush the knots already forming in her damp curls when her husband entered the room. He seemed nervous as he approached her, lowering himself to sit next to her on the bed. 

”Let me do that, please?” he asked, holding his hand out for the hairbrush. ”I’m sorry, Hermione. Everything looks like it's falling apart and it was wrong of me to take my anger out on you.”

Hermione turned to look at him, letting her fingers brush against his palm as she placed the brush in his hand. ”I’m not sorry, Severus. I still stand by what I said,” she whispered, “But, I am about what followed. I shouldn’t have shut you out.”

”I don't blame you, Hermione,” he said, pulling the brush gently through her curls., ”All I ask is that you try to put your safety, and that of our child, first. I can't lose either of you.” The soft strokes of the brush being pulled through her hair soothed and comforted her. In that moment, she had never felt closer to Severus. 

”All done,” he whispered, pressing his lips against her damp curls in a gentle kiss before setting the brush aside. ”Let’s try and get some sleep?”

As they lay in bed together, Severus’ thin body curled around her from behind, his hand resting against her swollen abdomen. She felt him smile against her hair every now and again when Rowan kicked and it made her heart swell. 

They were a family.This is what they were fighting for.

************************

The threat of summer rolled ahead as the school year wound down with the turning of another month. It was May now, and Hermione hadn’t heard from Harry or Ron in months. 

The knock in the door startled both Hermione and Severus awake. 

”Stay, Hermione.You need your rest and this is likely nothing,” he said, kissing her forehead and bringing a blush to her cheeks. Over the past few months, their affection for one another had grown, though they had yet to be intimate again. 

He climbed out of their bed and pulled on his dressing gown, but there was something about the way he moved that made Hermione’s stomach turn with unease. ”Please be careful, Severus,” Hermione pleaded. 

”I will try, Hermione, that's all I can promise.” 

Hermione didn't know how long he was gone, but when he came back, he looked oddly frazzled. Severus Snape was never frazzled but his eyes were wild and his normally tidy appearance was mussed. With his dressing gown tossed aside on the floor, he flung open the door to the wardrobe with such force that it slammed into the stone wall. Shirt, robes, slacks, coat, and balled up black socks hit her in the thigh. 

”What’s wrong, Severus?” 

”He’s here. Potter is here, Hermione,” Severus said softly as he continued to dig through his own things. 

He sighed, holding something in his hands as though whatever it was made everything right with the world. ”Hermione, please get up and get ready.” 

She did. 

Hermione dressed in clothing that still did not feel like her own. The dark wool dress looked as if it belonged to Narcissa Malfoy while the ornate coat with silver buttons and delicate embroidery was something she never would have chosen for herself. When all was said and done and they were ready to face what might come, Severus came to her. Clutched in his shaking, pale hands we're two things that she had never seen before—a small potion vial on a strap of leather long enough to be worn around the neck and a silver locket on a chain. 

”Please be safe, Severus. I beg you, _please_ be safe.” 

”Hermione, I cannot promise you that, but I need you to promise me something,” he said, pulling his arms around her and crushing her against his chest “Promise me you will tell Rowan about me. Tell my daughter who her father was.” Tears streamed from his eyes as one of his hands moved to touch Hermione’s stomach. ”Promise me you will tell her I loved her.”

”I want you to tell her yourself, but I promise, Severus,” she paused, “How do you know the baby is a girl?” Hermione whispered, tears well in her own eyes as the weight of everything to come fell down upon her. 

She wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. It wasn't supposed to happen, but it had, and there was no going back for either of them.

”Father’s intuition,” he said with a smile, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand.

Severus placed both items around Hermione’s neck. ”The locket belonged to my mother and has been passed down by the women in my family for generations. Rowan deserves to know about them, even if I am not around to teach her.” Severus turned the vial over in his fingers before letting it rest gently against Hermione’s heart. “The potion will heal you, even in the most dire of situations.” 

Hermione nodded. 

Tilting her face up with a gentle swipe of his thumb, Severus pressed one last kiss to Hermione’s lips. “Be safe. Keep your head down and tell Potter to come and find me when all seems lost.”

”I will.”

With that he was gone. Gone to face something which had been planned out for nearly two years, something that would likely lead to him never meeting his daughter, but Severus had never been one to run from danger. 

What was to happen would happen, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

***************************

Hermione, Harry, and Ron witnessed Voldemort’s snake striking Severus down. As soon as the monster was gone, they ran to him in the Shrieking Shack. Hermione dropped to her knees next to Severus, a wail tearing through her throat as she saw the gaping wound at his neck. She couldn’t stop her tears as blood pooled around him, but he didn’t address her. He spoke to Potter instead, pleading with him to take his memories, held in a small vial. 

  
  


The sight of the vial pulled Hermione from her grief and she ripped the vial from around her neck, the leather tearing into her skin as it ripped. She uncorked it and shoved it between his nearly slack lips. The pale skin of her fingers bloomed red with his blood as she tried to stem the flow from his neck.

Hermione couldn't let him die, not here. Not because of some foolish misunderstanding of how the magic of the Elder Wand worked. 

Her husband’s ghostly pale throat slowly knit itself back together, leaving only the stains of the blood he had lost, but his breathing was still labored and his pulse very weak. 

Hermione thought of how soon she might hold her daughter in her arms, in a world without Voldemort with Severus by her side. It wasn’t a memory, but the wish was strong enough to allow her to conjure a patronus. Instead of her river otter, a silvery falcon burst forth from the tip of her wand. 

“Find Madam Pomfrey. Tell her we are in the Shrieking Shack and we need her.” 

  
  
  


As the falcon soared toward the castle, she felt it. A sharp pain coursed through her lower back and her abdomen. 

She feared the worst. It was too soon. Rowan wasn’t due for another three months. 

Would she save her husband only to lose their baby?

It turned out not to be the stress triggering false labor, something about the body practicing before the final performance. Hermione was just so tired, not just physically, mentally or even simply emotionally. The lying, the hiding, the pretending to be something she was not. It felt like falling off the edge of a cliff and never actually hitting the ground. 

But, considering what hitting the bottom would be? Hermione was grateful the ground never came. Severus slept in the hospital bed next to her, his throat red with sharp raised scars. He might never be exactly the same again, but he was alive, and that's all that mattered. Tonks stood guard at the door, her bubblegum pink hair giving her away easily. Not to protect the others from Severus like someone might assume, but her husband from both sides. They wanted him to pay for the sins they believe he committed. 

”Go to sleep, Hermione,” muttered the young Auror, “I will watch out for both of you. I know he’s one of us.”

And sleep she did.

*****************************

  
  


Bed rest.

Hermione Jean Snape was on bed rest and she hated it. 

Of course, her husband who had nearly died was allowed to do whatever he pleased. It made her want to throw things at him whenever he sauntered in and out of her room with that ridiculous smirk on his face and reminders that she shouldn’t be out of bed. 

He had been recently cleared of all charges. Her memories, his own memories, and the testimony of the portrait of Albus Dumbdore had been enough to ensure his freedom. 

They wanted to give him an order of Merlin, but he had flatly refused by issuing a scathing statement through Harry Potter. The man didn't want to push the wizarding world too much, but the Boy Who Lived (twice), could surely do such a thing. 

Sometimes Hermione didn't know precisely how she ended up here, but when the man sat next to her in bed and began to read aloud softly, Hermione was grateful that she had. 

They had the rest of their lives to figure everything else out.

***********************

Severus Snape stood next to Lucius Malfoy, who had retained somewhat of the princely look he favored in Hermione’s youth, but appeared to have been softened by his status as a grandfather. The war had aged him; it had changed him, but it had done it to them all. 

The first to come down the aisle was Rowan. She looked so much like her mother and his mother, for that matter. The five year old’s black curls bounced with each step she took and instead of doing what they had rehearsed, she ran straight to him, wrapping her arms around his middle.

Next came Luna Lovegood, who had come up with this whole idea after Hermione had complained about not having a typical wedding like what Potter and Ginny had. 

Then came Hermione, gowned in an elegant white dress she refused to let him see prior to the ceremony. Severus paid little attention to the dress as he was too busy focusing on the way her eyes stared straight ahead, meeting his. Her wild brown curls framed her face and a small smile graced her rose coloured lips.

It felt like both a lifetime and just mere moments when she reached him. 

Minerva, who had long since forgiven them both, stood before them, holding four ribbons in her hands.

Severus took Hermione’s hands in his own, thumbs brushing over the soft skin of her palms. ”For all of the days of my life, I bind my soul to yours, Hermione Jean Snape.” 

The first ribbon, black in colour, wrapped around their joined hands.

”For as long as we both shall live and into the next life, Severus Tobias Snape, I bind my soul to yours.” Hermione affirmed, the red ribbon curling around their hands.

”I give you my heart, my body and my soul, Hermione.”

The green ribbon came to rest atop the others as the yellow one leapt into the air, waiting for Hermione to speak.

”All that I am, Severus, is yours. I love you.”

When the yellow ribbon joined the rest, Minerva whispered the spell, and tapped her wand against each ribbon in turn. The ribbons disappeared into their skin, bonding them together for the second time in their lives. This time, however, happiness shone on their features. 

“Daddy, up,” cried Rowan, holding her arms aloft. Severus picked up the most important person in his life and balanced her on his hip before once more taking the hand of the second most important person in his life, his wife. Soon, Rowan would have a sister to be named Eileen Margaret after both of their mothers. 

This is what Severus had been seeking all of the years of his life, without knowing he desired it. A family. 

And to think the person Severus had to thank for his good fortune was Draco Malfoy. The boy now a man with a family of his own, who fire called him distraught about what his aunt wanted to do to Granger was the reason he stood here today. Severus had rushed to the manor with the hope he could just protect her long enough to see the end of the war. Then, he would be dead and she would be free to find another. 

Fate, it seemed, had other plans about such things. One thing Severus had learned from Lily and now Hermione, was to never underestimate the power of a determined woman. She would move mountains, if she must.

For once, Severus Snape had no acerbic words to make. He could only think of how luck he was when Hermione kissed him, cementing their bond. 

This was happiness and joy, if he had ever experienced it.


End file.
